feath (feath) wrote,

Deep Fried Onions

It is time to rise up! and ban the evil that is deep fried onions. Sure, they may taste good. But they are killers. The smoke from deep frying onions is known to cause coughing fits, it lines the lungs of the unsuspecting with oily, sticky fumes. It must be irradicated from the public domain, for the publics own protection, weather they know it, realize it, or not.

I perpose:

1. No deep frying onions in a public restuarunt, private home, company car, or public transport.
2. No deep frying onions 50 feet from any business door.
3. No deep frying onions inside in public building.
4. Taxing deep fried onions until the cost is 2,000 times what they are actually worth.
5. Fineing up to £200 or 20 days in jail for each offence.
6. Persistant deep frying onion offenders be put on a public names list (name and shame)
7. Starting free classes for deep frying onion offenders and those who wish to quit.
8. Start a deep frying onions company that makes patches, sold at extreme price markup, to skin yet more money off those attempting to quit.
9. Passing parliament that requires those who need deep frying onions for their lively hood, register as a leathal weapon, and pay yearly fees.

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