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November 9th, 2009

Grandma called me today. She was doing pretty good - able to hold a conversation. She's gotten a picture from M, my middle child, of the new baby. I wondered what the kids b-day was, so grandma called M and asked. The info I got back was - gwyn is '3 months old'.
so, my 4th grand kid was born sometime between july 8th through august 8th.
further and persistant digging got that she has brown hair with red highlights.

I've come to the conclusion I'll never hear from M again. i've come to terms with that. but I still cried at the proof of it.

Grandma also mentioned Chicago. I asked if that's where M was living now. She said No. ... now, she does have pictures of M and her husband J, while they were on their honeymoon in chicago. But - well. she was having a 'good' communications day, but that was too much for me to figure out.

And now I really need to stop thinking about it. Because it only guts me more when I do. Its over. M obviously wants to forget her past, and I'm a major componant of her past. She married into upper middle class, and her dirt poor roots are things to be burried.

then to top it off, cleo hairs off from colo and disapears for two weeks without telling me. she's posting on her LJ with me blocked out. she's grown up and deserves her privacy. this on top of M just is a bit much for me right now.